Empowering Yourself with the Mindset: If It Is to Be, It Is Up to Me
- therapeuticthought
- Oct 29, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: Nov 2, 2023
There are certain constants in life. We all live, we all love, we all hurt and we all heal. The healing part is complex and intricate. Why? Quite simply, although healing is available to all, healing has different stages, and paces. We can incur the same situation and heal at a different rate. Healing involves intentionality.
Healing involves being intentional? Yes ma'am, yes sir. We have to be intentional.
We have to be intentional that we do not want to feel like crap anymore. I do not have to like or agree with the pain that caused the heartbreak, but I do have to agree that enough is enough. We have to decide that I want my life back. I want my peace back. I want my health back. Shoot, I want to smile authentically, giggle authentically, feel good about myself authentically. I want to love authentically.
I once read a story about two brothers whose father was an alcoholic. For the sake of this story, we will call them Brother One and Brother Two. Brother One chose to repeat the pattern, stating that the reason he was an alcoholic is because he was raised by an alcoholic father. He was a product of his environment. On the other hand, Brother Two was not an alcoholic, he chose not to drink. Interestingly enough, Brother Two reasoning was the same reason as his brother's. Brother Two chose not to drink because he was raised by an alcoholic father. What is the difference in their response? They were both raised in the same environment. One brother had an excuse, the other brother refuted that his environment would negate his habits. He chose to be intentional.
Are you refuting anything today? You do not have to follow unhealthy patterns. You have the power to choose.
When we are intentional in our thoughts, we are intentional in our actions. I know, ouch!
We are all guilty of allowing our thoughts to run loose at times. Our feelings are a direct reflection of what we are thinking. I want you to think about the last time that you felt sad, mad, upset, disappointed or happy. What were you thinking? Our thoughts have a direct effect on our thinking, feeling and behavior. That is why it is imperative that we learn to control our thoughts.
When we choose not to challenge our negative thinking, we leave ourselves open to defeat. No, we cannot change the painful experiences of our past, but we can reframe the story. At times, we are able to gain insights into why something happened. We can evaluate what role we played, if any, in the event.
We can glean and learn from our hardships, or we can blame others for our current situation.
The next time stinking thinking shows up, ask yourself: Is this true? Does this thinking serve me any good? Will this thought lead me to a higher purpose? Will acting on this thought bring peace? Will acting on this thought bring me joy? Is this thought based on truth or fear? You get the point, challenge your thoughts.
I understand that we all have different experiences that shaped us. I feel saddened when I speak to individuals that did not receive the love, admiration, praise and encouragement that aides in the building of a healthy adult. My goal is not to shame you or to diminish your experience. I simply want us to be reminded that in spite of our upbringing, our past, or our failures....NO ONE can hold us back when we decide that enough is enough.
As my dear client once taught me, "If it is to be, it is up to me."
It is up me to decide that this is my life. It is up to me to decide that I want my latter years to be better than my former years. It is up to me to decide that I want my legacy to be meaningful. I want to be a positive force in the world. I want to leave behind a legacy of believers. A legacy of overcomes. A legacy of.... you fill in the blank.
May you be blessed on our journey. If I can help along the way, please feel free to connect with me and book a free initial life coach consultation today. Your healing is in your hand. I believe you will heal!
Written by Cameca Murphy, MSW
Owner of Therapeutic Thoughts
“It is up me to decide that this is my life. It is up to me to decide that I want my latter years to be better than my former years.” Well said! Very thoughtful article!